My top 5 acts of self-love, for Valentine’s Day and every day
As a single girl, Valentine’s day is just one of those days to get through. I’m not expecting a flurry of cards, gifts, flowers, romantic dates or declarations of love. I think it’s the same for many of us, single or not, for different reasons… but that’s a whole other conversation and today’s not the day for getting lost down that rabbit hole!
Today, I’m focusing on acts of self-love.
Those things that we can do for ourselves, in service of our happiness, fulfilment and balance. Those things that we can often overlook or deprioritise.
If there’s any week of the year to commit to an act of self-love, surely it’s cupid’s very own celebration?
Here’s my top 5 acts of self-love to wish you a happy valentine’s day.
- Date yourself
Whether you’re coupled up (hello love island… I wonder when that’s back on our screens?!) or single, you can still take yourself out on a little date. Having a moment’s peace doing something you truly love can be so liberating! It might be a cinema trip for one (no sharing of the chocolates required!), savouring a delicious glass of your favourite tipple at the pub watching the world go by or a walk somewhere beautiful, wrapped up against the cold with a hot chocolate in hand.
Taking some time for you will help you decompress, let your mind wander free and you’ll be treating yourself (just like you treat everyone else). You’ll feel recharged and raring to go afterwards!
(Side note… do send me your solo date ideas!)
- Pamper yourself
Whether its running a hot bath and having a soak surrounded by candles, curling up with a good book or heading out for a morning at the beautician’s, taking some time for a pamper is regenerating. Its an opportunity to remind yourself that you matter too. It’s the chance to be in your own world for a little while. It’s likely to give you a bit of a confidence boost too.
For me, a non-negotiable is having my nails done. I always think I haven’t got time, but actually taking that hour every few weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things but looking at pretty nails all day every day gives me a long-lasting boost.
You’re totally worth it!
- Read
“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body” (Richard Steele).
Reading will open your mind to new thoughts, opinions and concepts. You can lose yourself in a different world. It will help you learn. It’s a way to access new perspectives on the world, to understand other people’s stories and reflect on your own. Reading, by its very nature, is also very soothing.
There are so many a-ha moments to be found in the pages of a book. Some of the most powerful personal reflection I’ve experienced has been through reading- it’s incredible when you read something and it hits you between the eyes… “I can relate to that!” or “wow, that’s me!”, or “if she can do it, so can I!”.
I’ve had the pleasure of reading some powerful books recently (I’ll save you from my rom-com recommendations but let me know if you’re interested!!). For now, though, these books were game changers for me in my search for fulfilment:
- “Untamed”, Glennon Doyle
- “Purpose”, Jessica Huie
- “Speak your truth”, Fearne Cotton
- “Making Space”, Jayne Hardy
I hope, if you choose to read some of them, that you find them useful too!
(Side note #2- please send me your book recommendations, I’m compiling a list for 2022!)
- Reflect
How often do we take a moment to pause, step back from the hamster wheel of our busy lives and reflect? How is life working out? Are you happy? What’s working well? What do you wish could be different/better? Are you spending your time and energy in the areas that make you happiest? What’s next? Where’s the niggle (if there is one)? What are your dreams? How much have you acknowledged how far you’ve come?
We can be so focused on the future and planning our steps forwards that we can overlook the here and now and the opportunity to take stock, assess where we’re at and take a proactive approach to planning forwards, with intention.
To help you with this, you can download my FREE wheel of life diagnostic tool. The magic in this tool is in the reflection it inspires. By using this tool, and by asking yourself the questions I’ve captured within it for you, it will help you to determine:
- Where you feel most fulfilled
- Where the ‘niggles’ are that are causing you upset or concern
- What changes you might want to make
- How you can create more balance in your life, in a way that works for you
This tool will help you to create goals and an action plan to find balance, happiness and fulfilment on your terms.
I often use this tool at the beginning of coaching conversations with new clients as it is pivotal in providing you with a bird’s eye view of your life, something we very rarely take the time to do. I hope you find it as powerful as I and my coaching clients have before you. I hope it gives you clarity to help you move forwards in a way that’s right for you.
To download your Wheel of Life Diagnostic Tool, click here.
- Visualise your future
What does happiness and fulfilment look like for you, on your terms? What is it that you truly want from your life?
I’m not referring to the trappings of life: the house, the car, the holiday, the job title, the salary etc, I’m talking about the deeper fundamentals that make you happy. Those deeper beliefs, needs, expectations that you need at a basic level to be truly happy.
In the coaching world, these are called your values. They are the fundamental building blocks of our make up as human beings, and yet we are often not consciously aware of what they are. They are different for all of us, and it is only through reflection that we can work out what ours are.
Values are broad and all encompassing: stability, security, balance, freedom, achievement, success, community, learning, compassion, acceptance, recognition… the list is endless and totally personal to you.
It’s not easy to reflect on this and work this out, so try answering these questions below to see what comes up for you:
- What is important to you in life?
- What can you not live without?
- If you look back to a time when you were most happy and fulfilled what was it about that time that made you feel so happy?
You’ll have a list now… can you rank them in priority order?
What you’ve now got is a summary of your value set. It might need tweaking and you might reflect and change some elements, but hopefully that gives you a starting point to think about what is truly important to you as you visualise and take steps towards your future.
I do a lot of work with my clients on values- we take this thinking to a whole other level. If you’re interested to explore more, with the support of a coach to guide you, get in touch for more information about what’s possible.
For now, happy valentine’s day from me to you! I hope you find the time for some self-love, not just this week but every week of the year. You deserve it!
For more information, tools and resources direct to your inbox, join the Pivotal Moments community.
