5 tips on using ‘rock bottom’ to propel you forwards
During our lives, its certain that each of us will feel at ‘rock bottom’ at some point, no matter how much we try to avoid it or protect ourselves from it. Unfortunately, it is an inescapable fact of the human condition. We will experience curveballs, setbacks, disappointments, losses, challenging times and heartbreak. It is in these moments, when the chips are down, that we can feel our loneliest, our most vulnerable and our most uncertain. It’s these times in our lives that can feel as though they are overwhelming.

I know this feeling first hand when I experienced my own rock bottom moment in early 2020. On the back of a restructure at work in 2019, which knocked my confidence more that I could have imagined, my husband left, so I was looking down the barrel at divorce and, to top it all off, the pandemic hit us, hard. Those days were some of the darkest I can remember. I felt engulfed by a cloud of sadness, the world felt dark and unbearable. Everything I thought I knew about myself was thrown up in the air. My identity was completely undermined; my hopes, dreams and aspirations were all shot to pieces and my self-belief fell through the floor.
Your version of rock bottom may not be the same as mine but it’s just as valid and is just as painful in its own way. The first thing I hope you take from this article is the reassurance that you’re not alone- not only do we all have these moments in our lives, but people care and are willing to help in whatever way they can.
Why is rock bottom a position of strength?
In those hardest days, when the world feels like it is against you and you’re not sure you can take anymore, it may be reassuring to know that, no matter how hard it is now, being at rock bottom is a position of strength.
It may sound ludicrous… how can you possibly be strong when you’re at rock bottom? Well, let me explain my logic…
- The worst has happened: that thing you were worried about happening, the fear of the unknown, the thing you were dreading…it’s done. You’ve taken that physical and emotional blow. You know how much it hurts. It can’t hurt you as much again- the pain will fade from here on in.
- The only way is up: experiencing something, a life moment which floors you means that there is only one way you can go from here… and that is up. You’ve nothing left to lose. Which means you can be brave, daring and courageous.
- You’ve survived this: By getting through this and to still be standing, you now know what you’re capable of. You now know how brave you are. You now know that you can get through this and any future challenges that come up. That inherent knowledge gives you strength and self belief.
- The people around you will show you they care: when the chips are down, when the worst moments in our lives happen, that’s when we know who we can count on, who we can trust and who will support us. You may be surprised who steps up. You may be reassured by how many people around you truly care. Its life affirming and reassuring to know who you can rely on when you need them. These are the people in our world to cherish.
How can you turn these moments into a strength to propel you forwards?
Having had this experience personally and having worked with clients who have felt this way themselves, here are my top tips for using these rock bottom moments as a strength to propel you forwards.
- Be kind to yourself
Firstly, I strongly recommend acknowledging and accepting your emotions. Our emotions are always valid; they are there to protect us and they need acknowledging otherwise they will come back to haunt us later. A comment that stuck with me is that if we push our emotions under the rug, the rug will eventually pucker so much it will trip us up. I really believe this to be true. Whilst painful, sitting with these emotions and allowing ourselves to feel them in the moment, when they are at their most raw and impactful will help the healing process in the long run.
Imagine it is a process of seeing these emotions in totality- the sadness, the pain, the hurt, the disappointment, the fear etc. Look them in the eye and see them for what they are. Analyse all facets of them. Seek to understand why you are feeling that emotion. Lean into these emotions because, by doing so, you pop their bubble- you take their power away from hurting you.
A really powerful way I found of exploring my emotions was to journal. I find it amazing what I learn about myself and my feelings by getting a pen and paper and writing. It might be that you don’t know where to start, but being by doodling or write a letter to your future self. Once you’ve started, I bet you won’t be able to stop!

2. Get clear on what you want
When we are at rock bottom, it can feel like there’s no way of making progress, of getting out of this hardship. That’s not the case. One of the most important things to get back is your sense of hope. To do this, I found that working out what I wanted really worked.
By determining your goals, it can give you a sense of perspective, of possibility and of forward momentum. Even the smallest of goals will help you to bring some hope and positivity in.
Your goal could be to walk 10k steps a day for a month. It could be to plan a holiday or a special trip. It could be something bigger like setting yourself a goal to get a promotion within a year, or to change your job completely.
The most important thing about these goals is that they are something that you are motivated towards- something that you really want, something that gives you a sense of possibility and a fire in your tummy. Plus, if they are something for YOU, not something that other people want for you, you’ll have an increased sense of ownership and belief in them. You’ll need this to keep yourself motivated.
So get thinking, what is it that you want?
- Visualise
This is a tool that is relatively new to me and is on the spectrum with manifesting. Visualisation is all about projecting yourself forwards to put some colour, some feeling and some sensory weight behind your goals.
It’s all about imagining what it will look and feel like when you have achieved this goal. For example, imagine that your goal is to work from home 2 days a week in a dedicated office space.
What will it look like?
- Converting the spare bedroom into a home office
- The walls will be painted a calming blue
- There will be a desk that is stand up as well as sit down
- There will be a comfy arm chair in the corner
- The walls will have framed photographs of inspirational quotes
- There will be a desk light which is dimmable
What will it feel like?
- A sense of freedom on Mondays and Fridays to operate more on my own terms
- A productive use of time, giving me time back to go to the gym
- As though I’m on top of my house and life admin (I can put the washer on between calls)
- A sense of achievement that the conversion is complete
- Trusted by my employer to do a good job remotely
- Permission to use my time for the bigger picture thinking or working on my personal development
What will it smell like?
- Reed diffusers- Seychelles smell from the white company
What will the ambience be like?
- Really quiet- space to think
- Comfy and cosy- wearing slippers is totally acceptable
Hopefully you can see, in this brief example, how you could use powerful visualisation to create an image in your mind about what this future will look and feel like for you. The benefit of this is that it makes it more tangible and within touching distance. You might choose to create a moodboard using clippings to help you define how it will look and feel. Play with it, use all of the senses that are relevant to your specific goal and have fun with it- get your creative juices flowing so you look at what you’ve created and feel hopeful, upbeat and inspired!
- Determine the steps you need to take
Looking at this “huge” goal can seem daunting or overwhelming, but if you break it down into smaller component parts, it will feel so much more achievable.
Start with a piece of paper- at the top, capture your goal (as you’ve defined previously). At the bottom of the page, describe your current reality.
Now, start to think about all the steps you need to take to get from A to B. In our office creation example, it could look something like this:
- Agree with my employer that this new working arrangement is suitable
- Clear out the spare room
- Take the old clothes to the charity shop
- Sell the bedroom furniture on Facebook marketplace
- Buy a new stand-up desk (allowing time for delivery) and desk chair
- Go to B&Q and pick out the perfect calming blue colour
- Check the internet connection is sufficient for working from home
- Paint the spare room
- Pick the quotes I want to frame and choose a frame colour
- Treat myself to a White Company “Seychelles” reed diffuser
- Pick a date that I’ll start working from home from (Monday and Friday of that week!)
Breaking down your goal into these smaller component parts makes it feel significantly more achievable AND you’ll have a sense of achievement from ticking each element off the list as you go through. Win-win.

- Create an action plan
It’s all very well having a goal and some tasks to achieve, but unless you put them into a plan, you are unlikely to achieve them. Consider what it will take for you to do each of these tasks, when you want to set yourself a deadline and how you are going to get each of the steps done.
What help do you need from other people? How could you involve your friends and family in your project to spur you on or to share the load? How can you celebrate your success when you achieve your goal?
All of these are important elements to consider as they will reinforce the achievement that you will feel, but also it demonstrates that the hope you had was valid because you have achieved it!
If you feel that you’d benefit from a conversation about your what’s next for you or support in creating a plan to build a life that is fulfilling on your terms, do get in touch to arrange a complimentary 30min discovery call to decide if coaching with me could help you get the clarity and confidence that you crave.
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