Have you got a niggle?

How your ‘niggle’ can be a force for good and positive change in your life

What is a ‘niggle’?

You might use a different word to describe this feeling, but it’s essentially a time in your life (we all have them- be reassured!) when you feel any (or all!) of the following things:

  • Stuck in a rut (professionally or personally)
  • Lost and wondering what’s next
  • Demotivated
  • Low in energy
  • Like you’ve lost your ‘mojo’
  • Tearful, frustrated and struggling to cope with the weight of your emotions
  • The things that once gave you joy don’t anymore
  • Overwhelmed
  • Anxious
  • Like its time for a change
  • Questioning of your identity
Wilted rose near to vase

There may be other elements that form part of your ‘niggle’, but the fundamental aspect is that something is ‘off’ and you have a sense of being unfulfilled. This is more than having a bad day; the feeling I’m referring to is a systemic feeling that life for you isn’t quite where you’d like it to be or that there’s something about your life which is off-balance.

I had this feeling over a couple of years across 2019-20. It felt deep-rooted, it was long lasting, and, at the time, I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong. On paper, everything was as I’d hoped and dreamed of, but I had this undeniable feeling of dissatisfaction, of not being at peace and of feeling unfulfilled. It took talking to a coach for me to be able to work it out and, importantly, to take the steps to change it.

If the feeling is there for you, you may not be able to diagnose why you’re feeling this way. We’ll come back later to a tool that can help you with this.

If it isn’t dealt with, the ‘niggle’ can be draining

If you let the ‘niggle’ fester, it’s likely to have some negative impacts on you and your life:

  1. Decision making

The impact of feeling like this is that you can feel as though you are unsure what you want. You may question your decision-making ability, often leading to you procrastinating over each decision, so it takes longer. Then you might unpick some of the decisions you’ve made, because you don’t feel confident in your choices. It becomes a vicious circle…

  1. Dissatisfaction

If you don’t know what you want, or you’re carrying around a sense of unfulfillment, the choices you do make may no longer give you joy. You may feel as though you don’t have a sense of achievement by completing tasks. Similarly, it might be that you’re achieving things, but those things you are achieving aren’t satisfying you.

  1. Your emotional response system

If you’re feeling like this, you may have noticed that some of your coping mechanisms are less productive than you’d like. For example, you might drop some of your exercise, meditation or mindfulness routines. You might notice your diet and drinking habits have changed. These will then impact your energy levels and your motivation. Self fulfilling prophecy, anyone?

What could your ‘niggle’ mean?

There are many reasons why you may be feeling the ‘niggle’. And each of us will feel it at different points in our lives, for reasons that are unique to us. And, depending where we are in our lives, the ‘niggle’ may change.

Torn paper with scene behind

Generally, feeling a ‘niggle’ signifies that you have an unmet need of some sort. It could be that there is something fundamental in your life that you crave (e.g. security, companionship, learning, change, progress) that is currently missing. These sentiments are based in our core values that we each carry as individuals- they are the building blocks of what makes us happy and fulfilled. If elements of these are missing, the ‘niggle’ will surely set in. (If you’d like to spend some time exploring your values to help you understand yourself more than you ever have before, just get in touch!)

It could be that the balance of your life is out of kilter versus what you’d ideally like it to be. Maybe you’re investing more time in areas of your life that aren’t as important to you or at the cost of those things in life which give you joy, connection and happiness. To give you a sense of how these niggles could play out, these are some examples:

  • You might realise that you are spending disproportionately more time travelling away for work than you are at home with your family.
  • It might be that you feel as though your current situation isn’t challenging you enough and you are craving more stretch (emotionally, mentally or physically).
  • It might be that your relationships with friends, family or colleagues are not as strong as you’d like them to be and this is leaving you feeling disconnected.

It might be that your ‘niggle’ is linked to a change- either one that’s upcoming (for example a redundancy, children leaving home, promotion, house move, a divorce, the menopause etc) or a sense that you want to make a change in life, of your own volition. Change, by its very definition, can elicit multiple emotions and can send us into a space of uncertainty. This could be the root cause of your ‘niggle’.

Maybe there’s other reasons why you feel you have a ‘niggle’? I’d love to know what’s giving you the niggle.

Working out your ‘niggle’

As I mentioned earlier, often the ‘niggle’ is just a feeling of something being ‘off’. It can be so hard to diagnose the reason behind this feeling because it’s hard for us to tap into our deeper intuition and, without help, to tap into our psyche and our sub-conscious mind. When clients come to me with a ‘niggle’, I suggest we start our conversations trying to diagnose the niggle. After all, once we’ve diagnosed it, we can decide what we want to do about it! Immediately you have some power back over this ‘niggle’ and you can take control. Winner!

To diagnose the ‘niggle’, I suggest we use the Wheel of Life Tool. You can download your copy of this here.

This tool is an amazing way to take a step back from your day to day and create a snapshot of your life. Specifically looking at:

  • What’s your life like now?
  • How do you want your life to be?
  • Where are the gaps?

The magic in this tool is in the reflection it inspires. By using this tool, and by asking yourself the questions I’ve created for you, it will help you to determine:

  • Where you feel most fulfilled
  • Where the ‘niggles’ are that are causing you upset or concern
  • What changes you might want to make
  • How you can create more balance in your life, in a way that works for you

This tool will help you to create goals and an action plan to find balance, happiness and fulfilment on your terms.

Give it a go and let me know what conclusions you come to!!

What’s next?

Once you’ve diagnosed where your ‘niggle’ is coming from, you’ll have an elevated sense of awareness of the choices you have made, plus you can make an informed decision about what choices you want to make in the future to build a life that fulfils you, on your terms. The power and control is back with you. Your choices are yours and yours alone to make!

If you feel that you’d benefit from a conversation about your ‘niggle’ or support in creating a plan to build a life that is fulfilling on your terms, do get in touch to arrange a complimentary 30min discovery call to decide if coaching with me could help you get the clarity and confidence that you crave.

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Jo Jackson

Jo Jackson Executive Coach

Jo Jackson is an ILM Level 7 Qualified Executive Coach, Founder of Pivotal Moments and an EMCC (European Mentoring and Coaching Council) Accredited Coach at Senior Practitioner Level.