If you’re reading this, then you’ve been thinking about taking the LEAP from your 9-5 and making a change. But there’s something stopping you, so what is it? I’m guessing that it’s going to be one of the below (they’re the ones I coach clients on most frequently). If it’s something different, that’s OK too – take a read of the hints and tips I’m sharing below, and if you have further questions, get in touch and we can work out how you can overcome whatever it is that’s stopping you.
Is it that you are:
1. Scared of making a mistake?
likely you’ve got perfectionist tendencies, does this sound like you?
2. Worried what other people think: what will they say?
likely you’ve got people pleasing tendencies, does this sound like you?
3. Worried you won’t be able to provide for your family?
likely you feel like you need to be strong for everyone else and hold everything together. Does this sound like you?
4. Worried that you’ll never be able to switch off?
likely you feel like you’re only good enough if you’re pushing REALLY hard. Does this sound like you?
First, a bit of theory, which is based in Transactional Analysis. (Don’t worry about the slightly daunting sounding title… let’s look at it in real terms).
When we’re in a pressure or stress situation (like considering taking a LEAP from the security of our 9-5 into the unknown, with no guarantees of success), our subconscious mind steps up to try and protect us. In some cases, this is helpful – it saves us from getting into difficulty, trouble or making poor choices. However, it can be limiting. It can blinker us to what could be possible, and it can mean we don’t make the bold choices.
Because of our upbringing, experiences to date and learned behaviours, each of us will have DRIVERS – subconscious, internal pressures that mean that we do things in a certain way. These are subconscious behaviours that we put in place (with no awareness) because we believe that:
“I’ll be OK if… I [try hard/ be perfect/be strong/please others etc…]”.
In some cases, these can be a force for good. But, when facing uncertainty (or perceived threat), these drivers can be a limiter.
In TA theory, there are 5 drivers, and we can apply each of these to the big decisions you have ahead of you:
- Be strong
- Try hard
- Be perfect
- Hurry up
- Please others
So, if you’re feeling scared you might fail, worried what other people might think, are worried about how you are going to provide or are concerned you won’t be able to build this new life fast enough, be reassured. This is to be expected. You are not alone. In these instances, your subconscious drivers are trying to protect you.
Let’s look at how some of these play out, in relation to considering taking a LEAP from your 9-5:
Worried you might fail?
This is possibly the most common fear clients come to me with, when they are considering making a big change, in whatever form.
If this feels like you, it’s possible that you have a “Be Perfect” driver.
Who you are and what’s important to you
You’re an ordered, logical person who likes to be well presented, because you probably feel as though this means you have better credibility or gravitas. In your life, you’re likely to be well planned, task oriented and have high standards (for you and those around you).
You might believe: “if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well”.
Your biggest fears
The biggest challenge for you in considering taking a LEAP from your 9-5 is a potential loss of control – not knowing what the outcome will be and how it will look, or for you to not be able to deliver to the high standards that you have for yourself.
Without a clear plan of action and a defined outcome, you’re worried you might fail.
Tips and tricks to overcome this
- Break down your overarching goal into smaller, more manageable chunks and set yourself mini-goals according to these.
- Consider what “success” might look like for you (tip – it is likely not to be the version of success you’ve been carrying with you for all these years!). Visualise it, identify it… and acknowledge it when you achieve it!
- Acknowledge the steps along the way and the progress you’ve made. Consider how you can see this as a journey, rather than a ‘perfect’ destination.
- Prepare a plan of action for when you feel like things are ‘off track’ – who can you turn to for support, what accountability measures do you need to put in place etc.
- Prepare a Glide Path™ – work out what needs to happen when and what they key milestones are. Draw it out. Pin it on the wall. Use it as your map towards success. Send me an email with the words GLIDE PATH and I’ll send you a whizzy tool that will help you work this out.
Worried what other people may think?
If you’re worried about what other people may say when you hand in your notice, or if the chat in the school playground might be “who does she think she is?”, it’s possible you have a “Please Others” driver.
Who you are and what’s important to you
You’re likely someone who wants to make sure other people like you, you’re concerned about doing the “right” thing and are likely to be law abiding and helpful. You possibly use words like “should” a lot in your vocabulary, e.g. “I should stick with my job because of my excellent pension”. You may seek validation from other people for the choices you make or feel as though you need to follow a certain path (because that’s the ‘right’ thing to do).
Your biggest fears
You’re worried about what other people will think and if they’ll consider you to be “too big for your boots”. You’re possibly concerned that you don’t have the credibility you need, or that people won’t believe in you, which might mean you aren’t a success.
You might also be concerned that this isn’t the “right” way – that there was a pre-determined path that you were “supposed” to follow, and if you don’t you will be in the ”wrong”. More so, if you were to fail, you would feel a significant sense of blame- from others, and yourself.
Tips and tricks to overcome this
- Consider how you can build a support network around you of people who are in your corner and believe in you, so that you have a ‘cheer squad’ when you need it.
- Notice how often you hear yourself (& your inner voice) say the word “should”. When you do, try to change it to the word “could”. This changes the sentiment behind the words from pressure to a choice. And it’s a GAME-CHANGER!
- Notice where your concerns are coming from – is it your perception of yourself and your plan, or are you taking on someone else’s? At the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is yours.
- Read the amazing “UNTAMED” by Glennon Doyle. It’s an incredible story about how she stop pleasing others, and started living freely. It’s inspiring!
Worried you won’t be able to provide for your family?
This weighs on the mind of a lot of us – at the end of the day, how are we going to keep a roof over our heads, keep the lights on and live the same quality of life we are doing now?
If this is something that’s bothering you, it’s likely you have a “Be Strong” driver.
Who you are and what’s important to you
You’re likely proud of what you’ve achieved, of being self-sufficient and reliable for those around you. And, in many cases, this is likely linked to financial stability and certainty.
You’re someone who values being helpful, is uncomfortable showing any perceived weakness and is strong and stoical in the face of challenge. You feel a keen sense of responsibility and a requirement to follow through on the commitments you’ve made.
Your biggest fears
Firstly, its unlikely that you want to admit that you have fears, but it’s OK if you have. It makes you human. And admitting these, to yourself in the first instance, and then others around you is the first part of the battle.
In terms of taking a LEAP from the comfort of your 9-5, your biggest fears will likely be about showing a weakness in some way e.g. having to learn something new, not getting something right first time, not achieving the same level of financial reward (immediately) as you are now. You’ll be reluctant to show that you need support from others, because you want to be seen by those around you (especially those you love) as being reliable.
You possibly have very clearly defined measures of success that are important to you e.g. financial reward, status, role title etc. And considering a change from your corporate career may mean giving these up.
Tips and tricks to overcome this
- Consider what is at stake if you DON’T make the change: your wellbeing, happiness, contentment all have a value, alongside other, more traditional metrics of success.
- Flip “showing I need help is a weakness” into “asking for help gives the people I love the chance to be involved” or “having input from other people could make the outcome even better.” The internal voice we have on these things can impact heavily on the sense of responsibility we carry.
- Acknowledge that you have needs too – and these are JUST as valid as the needs of those around you. You matter.
- Asking for what you need is a strength. One to be applauded. One to be encouraged. Consider what you need, and be precise when you ask for it from those around you – that way you know you’ll get what you need in the way you need it.
- Prepare yourself with the information ahead of time so that you can make educated choices: work out what finances you need in place before you take the LEAP with the BANK BALANCE BUILDER™, then create an action plan to make it happen. Drop me a line with Bank Balance Builder and I’ll send you the super simple worksheet for you to use to work out the cash side of things.
Worried you’ll never switch off?
If you’re in the corporate world, and evenings involve a few more hours on the laptop, just to keep up, you might be concerned that if you were to take the LEAP from your 9-5 into something new, you’ll be swapping one kind of burnout for another.
If this sounds familiar, you might have a “Try Hard” Driver.
Who you are and what’s important to you
It’s likely that you work hard, are conscientious and feel like effort in = results out. You may feel as though you have to pull in extra hours to be seen as committed by others. You might be someone who takes on a lot, works really hard, but ultimately, spreads themselves too thinly. This can result in never feeling like you’re making progress, tasks can run over and deadlines can get missed. You may find it hard to say no to things, because you want to do a good job!
Your biggest fears
When it comes to considering leaving your 9-5, one of your biggest fears is that your habits of working all hours, never switching off and feeling like you don’t get anything done may follow you. So effectively, you’ll be switching one form of burnout for another (but this time, the stakes are higher!)
You may also worry that you’ll constantly be comparing yourself with others – trying to keep up with what other people are doing in your field, getting distracted by new and shiny ideas, but not following anything through.
You might be someone who procrastinates, and you worry about how that will impact on the results you deliver, and ultimately, your potential for success.
Tips and tricks to overcome this
- Boundaries are your friend! Boundaries in how you spend your time, boundaries in the choices you make and boundaries in what you say yes to. So define these NOW!
- Accountability will help you – work out what you need to hold yourself accountable. Is it a coach or an accountability partner that you meet weekly – someone to say “you committed to X, where are you at with it?”.
- Create a SKELETON WEEK™ before you start – work out what your non-negotiables are and plot them out, so you can make choices that serve you. Send me an email with SKELETON WEEK and I’ll send you a cool template that will help you with this, so your foundations are well set from the start.
- Create a strategy. Decide what the end goal is and what the tactics are that you’re going to use to get there. Use this as a reference, each and every time you have a decision to make.
- If it’s not a ‘HELL YES’, it’s a ‘HELL NO’. A mantra we can all live by!!
This is just a taster…. For more, get in touch for your complimentary PIVOT PLAN CALL. In this call, we take some time to explore more about whats on your mind, answer those immediate burning questions and see what support could be useful as you consider your next steps.
Hope to speak to you soon!
Jo xx
