A love letter to the women to whom I owe so much.
It was International Women’s Day on Tuesday, which is a day in service of celebrating the achievements of women as we work towards equality. Clearly, there are amazing, off the scale inspirational women out in the wider world: Emma Raducanu, Greta Thunberg, Adele, Rosa Parks, Glennon Doyle, Michelle Obama. The list goes on.
But what about those women closer to home? Those women who we spend our lives with, those women we meet for drinks, those women who are always on the end of a phone or those women who we’ve loved and lost but have left an indelible impact on us. If we take stock, we realise that we’re surrounded by inspirational women, for so many different reasons.
Today, I’m writing a love letter to these women in my world. The ones who have shaped who I am today, the ones to whom I owe so much and the ones I am blessed to be surrounded by.
My number 1: Mummy J
I’m in a privileged position to have an incredible role model as my Mum. She is the most empathetic, compassionate, big-hearted person I know. She has an inherent, deep-rooted sense of care and a protective instinct for those she loves (like a lioness with her cubs!) and she shows undeniable courage. She’s also spontaneous, full of joy, an incredible chef and bloody good fun!
Mum has taught me so much. She’s taught me that it’s OK to feel your emotions, that the sky is the limit (as a child, she always said to us “You can be anything you want to be”), that sometimes you have to knuckle down and bloody well get on with it, that dwelling on the negatives won’t change the outcome and that hard work pays off.
She is also my #1 cheerleader and my ultimate confidante. Simply, my Mum is magic.
She has instilled in us (my bro and I) an unbreakable bond, the importance of family and she shows love each and every day.
I’m so proud of my Mum, not least for creating a wonderful childhood and for being our rock as a family of four, but also for what she has put her mind to and achieved professionally.
In her 50’s, Mummy J went back to college. She realised she had her own ambitions for a career, over and above being a homemaker and Mum. She completed her A levels, she studied for her degree in Criminology and Psychology and has since created a career, firstly in the coroner’s court and latterly as a much loved and favoured Funeral Celebrant in our local area. She’s changed lives and supported people in their darkest hours.
Mum is an inspiration.
The biggest things my Mum has taught me;
- Love hard and protect those you love.
- You can always regenerate yourself. You can always dust yourself off and start again.
- ANYTHING is possible.
- The sun always comes out after the rain; the clouds will pass.
- Bloody well enjoy it!
Adages to live by, I’d say!
The one I believe is still with me, even though she’s no longer here
I was incredibly lucky to have a most wonderful relationship with my Grandma. I grew up with her living next door and we spent hour upon hour together. She was my confidante and my biggest supporter. She taught me so much: how to drive, how to knit (a skill I’ve lost along the way!!) and how to make the most scrummy chocolate cake.
She also taught me how to be grateful. I may not have realised it at the time; it’s only with hindsight (& age) that I realise just how right Grandma had it. She was always grateful for what she had (which wasn’t a lot). She appreciated going for a bike ride, she loved finding blackberries in the hedgerows, she took delight in watching her ‘programmes’ (every soap on every channel, carefully recorded to make sure she caught up with them all!). Grandma took delight in eating her pudding off the serving spoon when we had meals together as an extended family (we all blame her for our sweet tooth!). She was happiest when with us, her family. She didn’t look for more. She didn’t compare her life with others.
She was grateful for what she had and she made the most of it.
I think of Grandma daily, for so many reasons and on so many levels. But her biggest lesson to me was to be grateful. I’ll never be able to repay her for that.
My partners in crime; the ones who pick up the pieces and celebrate the wins!
I’m surrounded by a wonderful group of kick-ass, powerful, strong, courageous friends. Empathetic, compassionate, and bloody good fun, my closest girls are a powerful tribe of truly wonderful women.
I can’t possibly do these girls justice in a few short words here, but these girls are the ones I’ve grown up with (& continue to learn with). We share so many experiences and have created wonderful memories. We’re working out our path and what it means to thrive as women in this era, with all the demands and challenges that this brings. We’re learning as we go, we’re making loads of mistakes, we’re having a giggle at the absurdity of it all, we’re picking each other up when needed and celebrating hard in those moments that matter.
It’s not been easy- each of us has faced challenges, knocks, setbacks and has found a strength, a courage and an inner fire to reset and start again, to keep going. All while being there for each other and loving each other.
Look how far we’ve come, girls. But, this is just the beginning: look what’s possible when we do it together!
The ones who have opened my eyes to what fulfilment means to me, and helped me get there
If you’ve read my blog about my journey to my Pivotal Moment, you’ll know I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to work with Zoe Hawkins as my coach. From here, I then also met Jo Wheatley (her business partner) and fellow coach trainer.
In 2018-19, I worked with Zoe when I was feeling lost, stuck, overwhelmed and completely out of sorts. It was Zoe who helped me, through powerful coaching, to work out what I wanted from my life. How I could redefine ‘success’ on my own terms. How I could create a balanced, fulfilling life.
One of the biggest decisions I took was to retrain. I completely changed my career path from Senior Commercial Leadership in FMCG, into retraining as an Executive Coach, marrying together my passion and empathy for people with my career experiences. I trained with the incredible Jo and Zoe at In Good Company (www.igcompany.co.uk) and haven’t looked back!
It is by working with Jo and Zoe that I have built my confidence, accelerated my learning curve and built the self-belief to become a coach and support others in the space of personal development. My career and life pivot simply wouldn’t have happened without their support. These ladies create an unbelievable atmosphere of support, compassion and appropriate challenge. I will be forever grateful for all they’ve done for me… watch this space for what’s next with this wonderful duo!
The one who showed courage and took the plunge.
This might be a bit of a weird one, but I think it is important to acknowledge the ‘old me’. The girl who was anxious, lost and stuck in a life that was making her unhappy. So many things happened to me in my professional and personal life across 2019-2021 that totally knocked me off course (you probably wouldn’t believe the list if I told you, but maybe that’s one for over a glass of wine some day!).
And there were some seriously dark days. My anxiety went through the roof. I was unbearably unhappy.
But, with the support of my incredible network and the women that I’ve introduced you to here, I found a way to rise again. I found a way to be courageous and grab life again. I created opportunities for myself. I licked my wounds, I learnt about myself, I took the time to work out what I needed/wanted/craved. I did the work. I committed to making a change. I took the plunge. I held on for dear life, but I held on and I’m finding my way through.
I can’t claim to have all the answers, but I am so proud of that girl who, in the darkest of days, found an inner strength to fight another day. Every day.
Thank you
To all of you wonderful women, and all of those I haven’t acknowledged directly here- namely my clients and fellow female founders- thank you! It’s always amazing to me to realise how resilient and courageous we can be when we support each other.
I’d love to know; who are you grateful for as we celebrate inspirational women?
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